READY TO STOP THINKING AND START DOING?
What’s something you’re constantly thinking about but not actually doing anything about? Maybe it's losing extra weight, starting a new business, learning a language, starting a regular meditation or exercise practice, writing a book, or cutting back on your drinking, shopping, or gambling. If you're anything like I am, you get super motivated at first, then things get hard, excuses take over, and you move that dream to the I'll-get to-that-later pile. And there it sits, collecting dust, and suddenly you realize it's been there for six months, a year, five years...
When we resist following through all the way or making permanent changes in our habits, there's always a price to pay. The EXTERNAL costs are easy to see - the weight is still there, you've only written three pages of your novel, the hangovers are getting worse, you're further in debt, and your Spanish is still limited to "Donde esta el bano?” and “Mas cerveza, por favor." (Very helpful phrases, but far from fluent!)
But there are also hidden costs of putting things off. The INTERNAL costs. One of those costs is all of the precious time, mental space, and energy spent playing what I call the "Will I Or Won't I Game". Will I or won't I exercise today? Will I or won't I have dessert today? Will I or won't I sit down to write today? Will I or won't I have a drink later? Will I or won't I buy those shoes I can't afford today? It's like listening to annoying background music all day, every day and it’s exhausting! Some days you "win" (I ran 3 miles today - YAY!) but many days you "lose" (I watched Netflix for 6 hours instead of writing - UGH!)
All the moments you feel like you “lost” are the most expensive of all. Every time you feel guilt, shame, or regret, it leaves a mark on your heart. These are the moments that slowly erode your ability to trust yourself and silently steal your self-confidence. These are the moments that lead to endless negative self-talk: “I’m such a failure!” “There's something wrong with me!” and “I just don't have what it takes to succeed.” Sound familiar?
Here's some good news: We ALL have what it takes to succeed!!
Wanna know the secret to winning the "Will I Or Won't I Game” every time? You must STOP PLAYING!
Here are 3 things you can do to set yourself up for success: Make a DECISION, get CLARITY, and COMMIT 100%.
DECISION: Make a firm decision that you're moving your dream from the "want to do this" pile to the "doing this" pile. Once you've made your decision: Write it down. Say the words out loud. Share it with a trusted friend. Make it real.
CLARITY: Take some time, get clear, and define what success would look like to you in this area. Be sure to focus on internal success (what small goal could you meet every day?) and not on external success (outcomes, results, things you can't control). Next, get clear on what things you need to DO (measurable actions) that would lead to that internal feeling of success. Be specific and realistic about what you will do and for how long. (I recommend starting with a set amount of time - maybe 30 or 60 days. The brain gets freaked out by the thought of forever!) Once you've gotten clarity: Write it down. Say the words out loud. Share it with a trusted friend. Make it real.
COMMIT 100%: Trust me, this will make the journey so much easier. 99% commitment leaves the door open to procrastination and endless mind games. 100% commitment tells your mind that YOU are in charge now and that no circumstance or excuse can stand between you and your dreams. Once you've committed: Write it down. Say the words out loud. Share it with a trusted friend. Make it real.
Keep your written decision, clarifications, and commitments in plain sight each day. Keep the promises you’ve made to yourself NO MATTER WHAT. Have a plan in place for what you’ll do/who you’ll call on days when it’s hard. CELEBRATE each and every time you stopped thinking and started doing. Once you know how to do this, you can do ANYTHING!
Jamey Knipps, Life Coach ~ www.choosehappyhabits.com